Sunday, December 23, 2007


perspective is something we hold dear from years of hospital visits.
for there has has never been a time when the bed next door was
not occupied by someone in greater need of medical and emotional
in icu, the boy next to us was on 24/7 asthma treatments
-honor's are every 3 hours-his, round the clock.
the tiny 3 yr old girl across was just in a fire with her whole family. her sister
is next door and her mom was in the hospital, but died a few weeks ago.
and she doesn't know yet.

At every transfusion, a child next to ezra had cancer or thallesemia
and the life expectancy is 45 yrs. for that blood disorder.....
perspective and knowledge of the Lord's grace.

the need is what resonates the most to me...
the boy next to us, tv on 24/7

-mom right there will him on couch
exhausted herself with 6 kids at home-but no interaction really.
talked a bit, but mostly, tv.

he needed to play games, cards and be read
to.....when she left to go home for a few days,
i turned off his tv and gave him our books (jesus storybook bible etc)
he 'read' them (he is 5) and spoke outloud and pretended for an hour.
the girl who lost her mom cries out for her mommy to
hold her every night. .
her community are coming in and holding her and praying
for her which is beautiful to see.
but so many are alone. the need is great there
-to be talked to and played with.....

I read a Christmas Carol every Winter.
and it rings true, like the clanging of a church bell on Christmas Day,
that my big heart for mercy
is merely wasted emotion without big, bold action to strike forward towards.....
and small, sacrificial, time consuming steps to spend time and physically give to others in need...
but it is my business, isn't it?
"But you were always a good man of business,Jacob," faltered Scrooge.
"Business!" cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. "Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance,and benevolence, were, all, my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!"

Saturday, December 22, 2007

my favorite store

so, to give my husband the afternoon off,
the kids and I strolled down to 79th st.
got a brownie and a cup of tea, earl grey-yuck
server's mistake,
bought shampoo, albuterol for the asthmatics
of the abode and passed my favorite store.
Not that I have ever shopped here~
i could have in the spring when nearing goal
weight-but I am nowhere near that now.
and the prices are silly. 80.00 for a kid's
Beatle teeshirt. so see, I actually couldn't.
(it's kids and mommy clothes
in one small store)
but, just if there is a special occasion, sometime
down the road, I decide to log it in my boy's strong memory.
"Buddy, just in case you wanna tell Papa? this is my favorite store."
He looks in the window, trying to make out a name.
"Sale? that's the name?" (I actually think he said Sally)
"No, it's up there. See, CPW"
he pauses.
"Spew? that's the name of the store, Mommy, Spew?"

and as my wise friend Dana said,
honestly, even if we could spend that kinda money on clothes,
would we dress much different than our current frocks
of tee shirts, sweaters and jeans?

do you want that gift wrapped?

so, since our apartment is so, how shall we say....cozy?
I have found it impossible to wrap the gifts this year.
someone is in one room
someone is invariably, in the,
how shall we say....
other room.
my solution?

yup, martha and I
wrapping on the hood of the car...
in the hood.
some passersby guffawed,
some said, Now I've seen everything,
some said they would coming out to wrap their gifts on their hoods.
Martha and I have started a holiday trend on 92nd st.

Thursday, December 20, 2007


she's better!
perky, hating breathing treatments, and throwing things.
all better.
now the rest of us are withering.....
hoping to get to Mass. for Christmas~
we will see....

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


well, she is sicker.
(is that a word?)
can you believe it?
Dr. Ward thinks perhaps she caught the
stomach flu at hospital?
I dunno. she looks awful-way worse
than before. pale, thin, listless.
gotta wait to see if she goes back to hospital,
dr. ward says. and Dr. Karen, who came with me to
Dr. Ward's.

love to have you all over for dinner this weekend to thank you-but hey, that ain't gonna happen. perhaps I will send out the 125 christmas cards I have had sitting here since 2 days before thanksgiving.
or just wash alot of throwup sheets and clothes.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007


the bell of the ball of the ICU is home!
home today with many drugs and so happy to see her puppies and brother!

we are thankful to all of you.
tom w. was at the er almost before the ambulance for heaven's sake,
matty B and Webb stopped by to pray over her,
steve and cade did the same-

victor has called every day-
Tim took over for scott sunday night at church so he could take

home the kid sprawled out asleep in the pews-
so lovely our wonderful Elders and pastoral staff-a sincere thanks.
special 'much obliged to ya' goes to Laran, Pecks, Lindsells, Clementes, Charis, Melissa, Kay and

dog whisperer extrodinare Ellie!
we are so so so so so thankful to you!!!!

(last year/this year)

boy, does she say it better than I

from my beautiful friend laran to
my mom's group yesterday:

Please forgive the tardiness of this news.
On Thursday night Honor Crosby (Anne Marie's
2 year old daughter) was taken to the
ER for a severe asthma attack by ambulance.
She was placed in ICU in order for them to keep her
hooked up to oxygen and closely monitor.
There have been high hopes that she would
be able to come day after day but they are
unable to keep oxygen intake at a satisfactory
level. They gave her new antibiotic today in
hopes that it will kick the struggle. She is in
a regular room but they are repeatedly requesting
a more child friendly facility as it is impossible for
her sleep therefore very hard to keep her calm
and then that sets the whole breathing issue
back into play. She must stay in the hospital
a full 24 hours after her oxygen is removed.
Please pray that they will be able to take her off
tomorrow and then they will return home on Wednesday.

As for now pray for a very good nights sleep for ALL, no
oxygen tomorrow and stamina for Anne Marie and Scott
to be a wise advocates.


and from scott last night:
After several hours of laps around 6 North, oxygen tank in tow, Honor finally drifted off around 10:30PM this evening. She's resting peacefully. We have a nurse named Hunter who rocks. We've been moved to a (currently) private room and it is towards the back corner of the floor - not much noise and lights are nice and low. Thank you for your prayers. Please, keep 'em up!